Why I find constant criticism about Tiffany Haddish sexist

Where I come from, young girls are told how to sit, how to smile and how to behave. That meant the many things my brothers could do, I could not because “that was not a

Where I come from, young girls are told how to sit, how to smile and how to behave. That meant the many things my brothers could do, I could not because “that was not a girl’s thing” Like when my family bought bicycles for all my brothers and not me. I was lucky enough to have brothers that lined up their bikes and told me “choose one and learn how to ride it” with that small revolution within our house, my strong mind had a free reign to become all I believed.
I keep reading about Tiffany Haddish and I want to focus on the fact that her achievements from homelessness to Hollywood is wrapped by a fog because of the many comments posted about the fact that she “went and had photos with the current regime in Eritrea”
Tiffany was raised by a non-Eritrean mother. Then she raised herself and not in Eritrea. The Eritrean father betrayed her. When a father betrays a daughter in our culture, the uncles and aunts and the rest of the family takes over. Tiffany did not have that Eritrean network. She was left to walk the empty streets of Los Angeles with a sick mother at home. She was made to cross the jungle of backstreets garbage dumpster to find food. She – most probably – had to fight gangs and more. She had to discover and discard the labyrinths of drug dealers and drug user and prostitution as a survival for a woman. She walked all that and alone! We, Eritrean were not there for/with her.
She decided to find her father and face her demons. Yes, because a father that just walks out on a child is a demon. Even if he is Eritrean! She faced him and then she forgave him. She gave the utmost respect a child gives to a parent, that is to bury him with respect in his land. Shall we say “their” land? Since she suddenly belongs to us; so much so that people keep criticizing her for being an Eritrean woman and having those visits with the current regime in Eritrea.
The photos are out for all of us to look at and dissect. But Tiffany did not have the “photos” she is accused of having. No, she did not. They did and tried to bask in her suddenly found glory. Tiffany did not know about Eritrea or its’ struggle. She wanted to claim her half DNA for her peace of mind. So she could “belong”. She forgave her father. How many of us would have done that? I am not sure, for we – Eritreans are proud and stubborn to infinity- and betrayal is something we do not take lightly.
I want to turn to Tiffany as a successful woman. Because if Tiffany was not successful, then her story would not make front page and not many would pick up their pen and use their time to write about her.
So Tiffany is a rich successful woman with tons of ambitions…in Hollywood none the less!
We keep saying that there are not many women in the highest echelons. When we find one, we try to discredit her by finding something “we” want it done in any other way, because she did not do enough “for us”! We attack women – and use any excuse – because they made it high on that echelon and her success is spectacular. So we look for the photo –op with EGDEF and unleash. Our utopia has to rule this woman life because …she took photos with government’s officials of the very country she visited for the 1st time. Let’s not forget that she was not raised by Eritreans parent and did not grow up around Eritreans. The only Eritrean side, walked out on her and divorced her. For, a father divorcing a woman should never divorce his child. That Eritrean father was not there to tell her about Eritrea. He left her to the wolves of the backstreet dumpster to feed herself. Could these criticism about Tiffany be a distaste about her pursuit for fame and landing in Hollywood?
Tiffany is an extraordinary woman, a role model for mine and all our daughters. She gave respect to the absentee father (shall I say sperm donor father?) and to us. The ultimate gift to herself, to her Eritrean father and Eritrea was to dress in our national dress and say it loud and clear in Hollywood “I am Eritrean and I represent all of you today”. That’s the photo Tiffany chose to have. Not the one with EGDEF!
Tiffany is extraordinary on her own rights and we should not be constantly demanding her to be “with us or against us” because the “us/Eritrea” she only met at a grown up age. Maybe there is a discomfort mingled with hidden resentment for a woman jostling in a world of opportunities we cannot find ourselves within. Then, unless we want to be Tiffany and encourage her and say thank you to her, I find some of the criticism I read on line by Eritreans to be purly sexist. Tiffany the woman that went to Asmara and did “koshmoshom” with EGDEF (words I read on someone FB) Wow! If Tiffany was a man, the word “koshomshom” would not have been used. Her ascent is mingled with resentment.
I would like to say to those that used that word and those that did not print it but it might have crossed their minds …just look at yourself in the mirror and try to walk the road from homelessness to Hollywood. Only then try to patronize an Eritrean woman…and even then! 
Tiffany is proud of being Eritrean and I am proud of her.
 Please see some photos of successful women. From all over! some are Eritreans and Tiffany is included.
Kiki Tsegai

aseye.asena@gmail.com

Review overview
25 COMMENTS
  • Kiki Tzeggai March 6, 2018

    This is a thank you to you Tiffany, Semhar, Saron, Nohemee, Sofia, Malala, Yelena and many more. Each of you can teach the meaning to be much more than what was carved for us by society. That we can continuously change and grow and build ourselves the way we wish and want.
    Tiffany, you reminded us that we can defy all odds and refuse labels.
    To ALL our Eritrean female Veterans: thank you for being the example of strength and show us the path to built a life after tragedy and devastation. When I feel weak, I think about your resilience and I am totally inspired to channel my own strength.
    To all of you, I say thank you for guiding us – women and men alike – and become who we are today. Wherever we might be.

    • k.tewolde March 7, 2018

      Yes indeed,it is a personal trial and tribulation of a woman which culminated on the spotlight of the biggest show in the world,it is her personal journey,it is an American story,I wouldn’t dare politicize it and nor give credit to those who don’t own it.Tracing back her roots,yes that is what every human does to find the missing piece of their life to close the circle,some do find the missing piece some don’t.There are thousands of displaced Eritrean boys and girls like her roaming the mean streets today looking for somebody to show them the way,hope she will reach out,and use the star power to expose those who perpetrated the mayhem.Otherwise it is emotions run amok.

  • Dawit March 7, 2018

    Sister Tiffnay bella, we are all black Africans and African Americans very proud of you and your father Haddish.

  • zeregabir March 7, 2018

    You are great, I would equate you with “Tegadalit”.
    Keep it up.

    • shilan March 7, 2018

      Zeregabir, you are being too emotional and naive.
      You see Zeregabir nebsi, you could praise or equate Tiffnay with the great and brave old EPLF/TPLF tegadelti of the past but all so-called “Tegadelti” are not the same ones.
      The savage barbaric evil Islamic ELF mendef were all shefatu/bandits beasts who only fought and are still supposedly fighting (from their evil ELF beggars wheel chairs) for a diKhala Arabic flag and Arabic language/Sha’ria evil jihadi laws.
      These savage ELF shefatu/bandit beasts burned our languages/text books, burned our Kunama’s villages and properties savagely, robbed our poor peasants belongings and cattle with no shames or apologies to our Eritrean people. They have done all these damages and crimes against our people just to please and to be rewarded by their barbarian savage evil muslim Arab slave masters who just use them as disposable garbage condoms.

  • Dawit March 7, 2018

    Kiki,

    Have you not gone a bit far to suggest her dad is a sperm donor ? I believe you know about her as much of us do through what is written and said on the media, and can make up histories on the basis of what is said about it, but to suggest he was a sperm donor, it is offensive and mean on your part.

  • Bereket March 7, 2018

    This article offers a fascinating insight into this Eritrean family and attitude crisis.
    Unsurprisingly our Tiffany’s visit to Eritrea has prompted a mixed reaction from Eritrean social media users, who are responding in their droves to the photos taken with the President (DIA). But at the same time it’s also a symptom of a misogynist society that tells young women they exist to conform or otherwise would be condemned.

  • Kidane March 7, 2018

    Dear Shilan, no Eritrean pays attention to your rubish commenrs; get a life where you belong.
    Thank you for a beautiful article, I would have liked much more, KiKi Teggai. For some reason not sure what it is, most of us, unlike our parents who envied instead jealousy, like to comment instead of compliment. Tiffany is a heroine not only to Eritreans but to anyone who can be inspired. She can take a photo with the devil,Isayas, himself. Does that prove she support him? The answer is a big no except for those who are quick to conclude. She is smarter than many of us; she went to Eritrea to trace her roots. No one cared about her till now and yet she embraced her heritage and introduced it to the world at the awards. A million of us in the diaspora would not have done it. Surviving the mean streets of south central Los Angeles, especially growing up during the war between the bloods and the crips, was not easy. She made it and she is glowing. Congrats to gual Hadish and deal with it those who are jealous.

  • Kiki Tzeggai March 7, 2018

    Thank you Kidane.
    They told me that “women day” is coming up. With your words towards Tiffany and all women like her, you proved that women own the rest of the 364 day in the year as well!
    Let’s clap for Tiffany. And the many Tiffany that are struggling to reach the end of the tunnel. It is readers and writers like you that eliminate chauvinism and ignorance. To quote you” A million like us could not do all she{Tiffany} did”! Indeed, Tiffany is leading a million of us. But, for you to say it loud and stand up by a woman attacked in cyberspace, is the best gift all of us – women and men alike – we could ask for. Know that yourself, you are leading many more millions. I will show your writing to all young generations not only in Eritrea, but in neighboring countries where unhappy and not much-doing people live.
    With our confidence and respect for each other we will fix all the wrong, one at a time!

    • stefanos temolso March 8, 2018

      We stand with you Kiki. Where were we when Tifanny was alone, suffering in the streets of Los Angeles. She went to Eritrea and with or without her consent she had a picture with Eritrean dignitaries. That is not a crime. She never uttered a word praising the evil regime. When she knows more about the oppressive nature of the regime, maybe she would stand against it. So, let’s not make a big deal about her visit. Let’s try to make her know more about her country’s situation. I appreciate Kiki’s article very much.

      • AHMED SALEH !!! March 9, 2018

        stefanos said
        “Where were we when Tifanny was suffering alone in streets ” .
        Shame for everyone who politicize her wish to visit he ancestors land .
        I hope others born and raised in foreign countries fellow her example if
        their financial statue affords to cover all expenses .

      • Kiki Tzeggai March 9, 2018

        Thank you Stefanos Temolso,
        Tiffany’s life and her search for truth is teaching us – Eritreans – to help each other way before one reaches the pinnacle of Hollywood. And not to attack a woman for some personal political view. Where she is, Tiffany is smiling and that is what counts.
        Sometimes truth hurts, but it needs to be told. There is no rehearsal of words in being blunt about the true life story of this woman.

  • Gezae March 7, 2018

    An honest effort can bring a big achievement. There a few people can make history with the work and they have done it. I believe the achievement you get brings you happiness in your life. Never lose confidence and always go ahead in your path. You proved it well. I have one college graduated daughter. I hope you will be a good example for and many. You are a proud Eritrean/African american. Good bless you. RIP to my dear brother Hadish.

  • rezen March 7, 2018

    “You are a proud Eritrean/African American. Good bless you. RIP to my dear brother Hadish.” Gezae
    Commentary, 7 March 2018
    Good observation and deep feeling. Where do we go from here?
    I can’t help asking myself that question. How do we meet the deep love for Eritrea and expectation of Tiffany Haddish and others like her? For that matter how do we fulfill OUR hungry expectation out of a NEW, LIBERATED, INDEPENDENT, HOPEFUL ERITREA.?
    Eritrea has been an INDEPENDENT country ONLY for the last twenty-six (26) years and has NEVER seen CRUELTY of such a government in its entire History under various colonial forces!!! It is a government which liquidates its TOP MOST gallant eleven FREEDOM FIGHTERS simultaneously, in the wee-hours of a night, at exactly 0300 hours – never to be seen again. There was NOT a blip of sound in the ENTIRE Country of about five million (5,000,000) people, which gallantly fought for thirty (30) years to achieve LIBERTY, FREEDOM of EXPRESSION and JUSTICE. It is as if the entire five million people went into a frozen state of mind under the most scheming and ruthless Dictator on Earth.
    Dear Readers: With honest sadness, I dared to address the sociological make-up of the Eritrean society that gives a blind eye, deaf ears, and mute voice to such cruelty. As a base, I used another Article on Tiffany Haddish. Actually, my attempt is really superficial. I admit, without hesitation. my mental capacity to such a complex subject does not permit me to dwell into psychoanalytical depth of the matter. My commentary is limited to the notorious ‘sociological’ make-up of Eritrea >>> actually, infamous destructive nature in the entire Continent of “Dark” Africa.
    Warning: My commentary is gloomy to say the least. Nevertheless, that is how deeply I feel about Eritrea, at this moment in time, to the best of my minuscule analytical mind. I am grateful to http://www.assenna.com for putting-up with all sorts and diverse commentaries, with patience.
    I can’t help musing and adding one more paragraph. Why is it that “ERITREA” is destined to be under diverse colonial forces as well as under the most cruel indigenous dictator that has ever appeared in its entire History? In the absence of rational reasoning, one is tempted to fall upon the mysterious phenomenon of መርገም (CURSE), but with the ultimate never-ending question of: WHY?

    • k.tewolde March 8, 2018

      rezen your commentaries are provocative,and I will attempt to answer your bold lettered question WHY? Ignorance,sheer unconditional compliance,protracted ingrained social poverty,opportunism,greed,deeply rooted ethno-religious strife which rises to the surface with simple agitation for any adversary to exploit,not to mention like you said a long history of chain colonial rulers who left their print behind.The only time the Eritrean people saw a ray of light is the day they voted for the referendum to be recognized as a sovereign nation,That ray of light soon disappeared into a total darkness heralding an era of brutal dictatorship.The fact tells us the Eritrean people were never free,they don’t know freedom,they can’t relate to it,they don’t know how it looks and tastes and they continue to suffer in a pseudo national quarantine with borders strewn with mine fields and shoot to kill guards becoming captives of their own endorsement. Hopefully this summarizes you question. Keep poking out brain rezen.

      • k.tewolde March 8, 2018

        In the end,that is the reason why the young generation hoists a placard demanding freedom in strange places from strange foreign governments.

    • Ermiyas March 8, 2018

      Haw rezen, I love your comment and observation and I hope you continue to tell the truth.
      You precisely said it in one word and that is the “mergem {curse}” of Eritreans coming to roast us.

      • Ermiyas March 8, 2018

        Haw rezen, truthfully the Eritreans simply being {rigum, ziteregime dihur zerie}.
        Even from dark awful people of Africa, the Eritrean race must be the most cursed.

    • AHMED SALEH !!! March 9, 2018

      Dear Rezen
      To say ERITREANS never seen CRUELY under various colonizers seems one sided
      observation to dismiss ETHIOPIAN CRUELTY in lowlands and Saho people . You
      may forget to give consideration about those refugees in SUDAN since 1960’s .
      ERITREANS mainly highlanders were stupid enough to praise a leader who promote
      for division , hatred and violent confrontation .
      Do you know that many of his supporters used to reject the honor of Christian brothers
      martyrdom in ELF ? That hurts you know because I lost many of them dearly .
      If there is a curse , we brought it by our self .
      ‘ the one who dig a hole for his brother , himself will fall in it ‘ . Arabic saying .

  • Habtom March 8, 2018

    Tiffany Hadish!To tell you frankly ,to prove being an eritrean is not by wearing eritrean traditional cloths,but by telling the world how the eritrean people is passing through a miserable life under the dictatorial regime in Eritrea!!!!!

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